The sad truth about politics and people in America. — “Beware of false prophets, which comes to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they’re ravening wolves.” Mathew 7:15 Donald Trump isn’t particularly worried about this election. He should be, but he isn’t. He’s done the job he set out to do. There were glitches, and people saying he was a…

Where else can you go when John Fogerty tells you to take a hike? — “They’ve got everything for you men to enjoy…” The Village People (YMCA) President Donald Trump doesn’t pay much attention to lyrics. His favourite song “Is That All There Is?” sung by Peggy Lee, describes watching a house burn down and turning to drink. Why does Trump like it? “It’s a…

Baste your bird, don’t debase it, for crying out loud. — “My cooking was so bad, my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” Phyllis Diller As history describes it, turkeys were first introduced to the Thanksgiving dinner table way back in the early 1600s. No record explains exactly why the Pilgrims chose turkey for this historic feast. They weren’t…

Talking is what we know and what makes us feel safe. — “Everybody’s talking at once in a hypnotic, hyper din: the cocktail party from hell.” Maureen Dowd “Reading is 4 chumps, brotha,” Mew16 wrote on reddit, an opinion shared by many in the discussion group — and not just brothas. …

The rise of the sapiosexual and fall of pretty rocks. — “For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words.” Isabel Allende To be honest, I wasn’t familiar with the term sapiosexuals until a woman informed me that I wasn’t one. I’d been writing about sex and intelligence. She felt my terminology (and possibly my experience) was grade school at best. …

What’s a cream pie, anyway? — “Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.” Charles Bukowski I suppose I should thank my wife for not getting caught up in porn. She really could have. She’s fanatical about most things. You should see her with vitamins. She puts them in a bowl next to her chair…

A short story about loss. — “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache,” Mae West They were packing, getting out before Leo, the landlord, came back with his fat son. Leo had been over that morning. He told Bernice she was three months behind in the rent. “Your television’s going on my truck if you…

Sometimes love can ruin a person. — “Bang, bang, Lulu, Lulu’s going away, Lu’s going to bang bang, now Lulu’s going away.” Bishof-Fallenstein Bo Gumble was a legend in town, mostly because he was a repeat arsonist. He had these antique stores that never did very well, so he’d torch them, collect the insurance, then torch another…

Is it really like stuffing a sleeping bag into a sack? — “You can do side bends or sit ups, but please don’t lose that butt.” Sir Mix-a-Lot I shouldn’t be passing judgement here, having never worn a body shaper. I remember author, Susan Orleans, describing them as “stuffing a sleeping bag into a sack.” That image alone is enough to turn…