Are You Ready For Frankenmeat?

The day is coming when we’ll be throwing a slab of “shmeat” on the barbie.

Courtesy of Dreamstime

Our need to gnaw comes from centuries of gnawing. Can anything from a petri dish possibly resemble actual gnawable meat?

Are people ready for petri food? Remember those trays of different coloured pastes in 2001 Space Odyssey? They didn’t go flying around the capsule like a tomahawk ribeye, but it’s still old folk’s food, and we’re really creatures of texture. Our need to gnaw comes from centuries of gnawing. Can anything from a petri dish possibly resemble actual gnawable meat?

Critics still find Frankenmeat a little too “Boys From Brazil” for their tastes.

Plant-based meats, for instance, like veggie burgers, have their fans, but the general public still finds them fishy. Not fishy fishy, but not exactly meaty, either.

There will be certain “hold your nose” advocates, reluctant to trade Whoppers for shmeat.

Hopefully, science and technology will put to bed the queasies experienced by our now meat-loving public. No doubt there’ll still be “hold your nose” advocates, reluctant to trade Whoppers for shmeat. Then again, if the price is right, we’ll eat just about anything McDonalds serves us—including meat.

Once we have well-hung rabbits, it’s only a matter of time before we’re all bragging about our Frankenmeat, whether it’s on the grill or down our pants.

Then there’s a California-based company called Modern Meadow that’s creating 3-D artificial meat, along with artificial leather cultured from cells. “Meat will take longer than leather,” co-founder, Andras Forgacs admitted, whose father ate a 3-D pork chop, and didn’t have a moment’s indigestion.

Get it down to $1.99, and I doubt anyone will be holding their noses.

If a 3-D beef melt shows up on the Denny’s menu for $2.99, we’ll eat it. Get it down to $1.99, and I doubt anyone will be holding their noses. Just throw that shmeat on the barbie and call it anything you like.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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