As I explained to Emma, you may be taking the whole thing too seriously. Sex is not a game of darts or billiards. The last thing you need is concentration. Since we’re doing analogies here, a friend of mine was taking latin dancing. One night, a group of soccer players came by the studio. They were all friends of the owner, all ex-pats (Buenos Aires), and all fantastic dancers. My friend danced with one of them, doing her best to remember everything she’d been taught. The soccer player stopped and said: “Forget the steps. Just listen and feel.” So I’ll give the same advice. If you want good sex, listen and feel. The rest is immaterial. No one’s stopping your orgasm (or squirt) but you. And that bit about “some asshole telling a joke at the wrong time,” you’re kidding right? That turns you off sex? You’re making excuses, like the characters on Seinfeld finding fault with every date so they can dump them. Life’s not perfect, people aren’t perfect. Listen and feel. And stop making out like someone else is responsible for you not having an orgasm. Jeesh!

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I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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