First of all, Emma, I write satire. Secondly, there is no “maybe” about squirting. It has been studied since the 16th century. Thirdly, what exactly do you mean by “you assholes”? Are you talking about satirists? Are you talking about men? The fact that your “fairly large yet close group of female friends” discuss orgasms, yet never squirting, are you saying this represents a cross section of women in general? And, if you and your friends don’t want to talk about squirting, why are you deciding no one else can? I have a fairly large yet close group of friends, too. We obviously don’t have the same bounderies as you, nor do we restrict our conversations to one gender. It’s like anything else, Emma. Nobody’s forcing you to read this. Since you did, I find your motives a bit suspect. Are you really expecting a bunch of women to say, “That’s right, Emma, you tell that asshole satirist what’s what”? I found Chloe Thurlow’s comments on squirting to be intriguing. I dug deeper into the research. None of it said that squirting “maybe” exists. If you and your “group” of friends don’t want this discussed, as I said, don’t read posts that clearly state the subject in the headline.