First of all, Johnny, if you check, you’ll see that I’m listed under satire. I’m a humorist by trade, therefore my only compass is what I find ironic in the whole human condition. Taking my work seriously is folly since my work has never been serious, nor would I want it to be. In fact, the funniest part of my writing reflects comments I receive, most of which suggests people are pretty darned upset about most things, including the state of feminism as we know it today. The funniest comment came from a woman who arrived home from what she called “a night of drinking,” and decided I was the worst chauvinist going. She really lambasted me until she read my article again the following morning, and decided to make a retraction. “Okay, I get that it’s satire,” she said, “but I can still out-satire you. My grandfather invented the word.” Well, actually the word goes back to the 1500s, a point she didn’t want to discuss. Instead, she wanted a satire-off, claiming she was better at it than me: “I piss more people off.” I readily accepted her challenge the same day (New Years Eve). New Years Day, I asked when she wanted to start. She replied (and I’m not making this up): “That’s so-o-o last year, Robert. I’ve moved on!” Satire is knowing you’ll never run out of material. Today, I just read that at a school in Oklahoma (I think it’s Oklahoma), is handing out rocks to the teachers in case another “shooter” comes along. You really can’t make these things up, any more than you can make up “I practice alone a lot.” The news alone gives me more material than I can handle, that and comments here on Medium. You might even be in the next piece, Johnny. Look for it.

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I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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