I get your points, and I sympathize, Cindy. I’m a strong believer in foreplay—and replay, if you want to know the truth. I figure, the longer we men spend on preparation, the less time it’ll have to be womansplained to us. I think the men who try to convince you that penetration and “pounding” is where it’s at, are compensating for performance anxiety—either that or they just want to give you the 3 minutes standard time for sex, and skip the 20 minutes of foreplay. Now the big question is: How long do you spend on foreplay? While, as I’ve said, men are goofs, some women are demanding 20/3 (foreplay/penetration), yet spend little or no time on the manpole. If you’re giving less than 5 minutes on the manpole and expecting 20 minutes on your foreplay, there’s a discrepancy and possibly a moral dilemma. The stupidest thing you or anyone can do (including me) is make demands without showing the same attention and consideration. Again, I get your points, but I’ve heard too many women complain about their asshole boyfriends not giving the 20 minutes, then being shocked when asked how long they spent on their man’s arousal. “He’s the one talking about pounding,” one woman said. “Why doesn’t he pound himself? Oh, actually he does.”

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I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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