I’m sure Peter Noone wished he’d gotten his teeth fixed before crusading around the Holy Land. Muslims have great teeth. They brush with a piece of tree branch which breaks down acids in the mouth. Pope Urban II didn’t even want Brits on the holy pilgrimage, especially not singing with bad teeth. The Brits have historically embarrassed the pope going into battle with bad teeth and dysentary. It was only during the prelude to Waterloo that Wellington insisted on chinstraps so his troops wouldn’t expose their bad teeth. He also considered it shameful that a Swedish band would create the song “Waterloo” which British troops sang on their way into battle. Interesting sidenote: Upon their return from the Holy Land, Herman’s Hermits were beheaded for trying to impersonate Henry VIII.

Written by

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store