It’s always interesting when someone says “The professionals did more harm than good.” I remember suggesting family counselling when my wife and I were on the rocks. Worst mistake we ever made. A year later, divorced, living three streets from my ex, I asked a psychiatrist if family counselling ever worked. “I see couples all the time,” he said. “I tell them to make a list of the good and bad in their relationship. Then I tell them I’ll call them later. Eighty percent of the time, they tell me they’ve decided to divorce. All it takes is writing it down.” He was right. My ex and I would have come to the same conclusion if we’d written that list. We wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place if we’d written that list. Lists are good. Counselling? Not so much. Paper is also cheaper. Being economical is the bedrock of an unhealthy marriage.