Feminism and Baby Talk.

Paris Hilton has driven the largest wedge between feminist ideals and “getting what you want.”

Courtesy of Dreamstime

They claim it [baby talk] takes the starch out of a boner faster than a 10-inch carving knife.

Isn’t feminism about taking charge, not making a man feel like he’s having sex in a bassinet?

Keeping it cutesy alleviates the guilt. You can’t be a “bad girl” or a “slut” if you call his dick a “thingy wingy.”

Saying, “I wuve my babykins,” makes him feel like a pony.

That’s probably why most men take pride in saying, “My baby don’t talk baby talk,” whether that speaks to her maturity, feminism or ability to enunciate.

Groucho Marx never told Mae West he’d “kick all her teef wight down her fwoat.”

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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