Sadly, some of our gray matter never finds a sexual outlet, despite being more than eager and frequently awake. It’s those darned amazing butts. What can you do? Everyone says they want “a humorous partner,” but nobody’s as humorous as they think they are. They’re more into “make me laugh” than, “Hey, I’m gonna make noodles come out your nose.” I guess it’s just far easier to have an amazing butt (not that I’m against amazing butts, believe me). By the way, have you noticed that some brains look like amazing butts? What’s that about?

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I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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