“Since when are MEN ‘giving’ me orgasms?”

You take your life in your hands mixing sex with satire these days.

Courtesy of Dreamstime

On one hand, I’m scared stiff of growing breasts, on the other, I’m being told my dick isn’t that magical.

It took half my life to perfect my own hand jobs. There’s only so much time I can devote to this without getting dragged out of parks.

Aren’t clogged drains our last hope of being needed? Maybe growing breasts isn’t a bad idea.

So put less pressure on your poor penises and involve the rest of your bodies (and maybe some perverted and/or loving stuff from your minds.”

My mother found my disappointment so cute, she gave me a van Dyke goatee with prune sauce.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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