Talking Dirty.

Here’s how you can make yourself sponge worthy.

Courtesy of Dreamstime

Elaine won’t go to bed with one guy until he can prove he’s “sponge worthy.” George gets out of every relationship by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Will they overlook the fact that you’re a phony? Nope. Once the novelty wears off, they’ll ditch you like an old Chevy.

Except for the diapers part, she’s as phony as everyone else. She’s lucky she gets “Hey.”

Nobody tells her she’s terrible — not because she’s their boss — but because she’s shallow.

They also think their time is so valuable, they shouldn’t have to read platitudes, which is funny since all they write are platitudes.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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