Thanks for your response, Heather, and detailing what men can do to help women achieve orgasms without using our dicks. I should remind you (and other women who too offense to me suggesting that we “give” women orgasms) that I write satire. One man complained that he reads my posts on a smartphone, and it doesn’t provide tabs indicating it’s “satire,” so he can’t be blamed for “taking my work seriously.” Fair enough, I understand the confusion, and also how serious this issue is to people. Here’s one “serious” thought I had. Suggesting we find other ways to help women achieve orgasms is certainly helpful, except that the issue I talked about was low testosterone. If we have to find “other ways,” since physically we might be losing “our juice,” it’s a bit like the Chinese pollenating flowers themselves, since they killed off all the bees. Shouldn’t they, in fact, be looking at what’s killing the bees instead of saying, “Well, we’ll just have to look at other ways to pollenate”? That’s like saying, “Pollution exists, we’ll just have to drink bottled water from now on.” It doesn’t resolve the inherent problem. I’m surprised I’m getting angry responses, particularly one women saying, “Hey, you don’t give me orgasms, pal. I get them on my own, thank you very much.” She called my article “dizzyingly incoherent drivel.” Nobody—and I mean nobody—has said, “We have to look at this both from as physiological and psychological level.” Instead, I get angry responses, essentially saying “We don’t need you,” or “If you’re going to make a nuisance of yourself, at least learn some new techniques.” Again, thanks for your comments, Heather. Now you know why I love satire.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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