Tips On Suicide.

Everyone gets sad, but when those thoughts won’t go away, there’s a trick I use. It’s called procrastination.

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One day they’ll probably dig up some religious parchment, possibly with the words “Sayeth no to suicideth.”

I could be spontaneous and just do it, but I’m not terribly spontaneous, and when you lack spontaneity, suicide is a bitch.

In any case, there’s a trick to suicide avoidance, one anyone can practice without losing television time.

In a state of reflection, you realize things aren’t as bad as they seem. If they are, I’d certainly recommend the Orgazmitron over guns or jumping off bridges.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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