What Makes Women Horny?

Women aren’t nearly as turned on by a big penis as they are by a big mop.

Courtesy of Dreamstime

It’s more than just “tongue time.” Before there’s tongue, there’s the Swiffer, before the Veuve, Windex.

It’s more about courtesies, what makes a man a keeper or, perhaps, a stud keeper.

“I’d be touched enough that I’d think more highly of him,” one woman wrote, “and that might alter the current romantic freeze-out I’ve instated.”

The “you do the dishes and I’ll watch the game,” shows a spoiled brat, something that isn’t sexy, except to another spoiled brat, in which case, the house is a shambles and probably so is the sex.

Marvin Gaye’s “Baby, I’m hot just like an oven” may still sound sexy, but you’ll do better cleaning the oven than making analogies about it.

I did a poor imitation of Don Draper for 40 years before writing my first novel. I'm currently in the final stages of a children's book. Lucky me.

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